There is a cat that lives outside my building that can only be described as, "loud as a motherfucker." Nearly everyday this cat will make a noise similar to a crying baby.
Why would a cat make this noise? Well, the cat has either been in some type of horrific accident that has left it's paw in a mangled stub that is unable to heal do to the fact the cat must walk on the paw, or more than likely the cat is masturbating.
Oh, cats don't masturbate? Then what's the tail for genius?
One day while my friend was visiting, we heard the cat shrieking outside.
My friend said, "Is that a baby? Maybe we should help!"
"No, that's a cat," I said.
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"Umm, I'm twenty five years old. I think I know the difference between a baby and a masturbating cat," I said.
I've tried to catch this cat in the act many times. However, this cat must have a really good hiding place. Much to my shock and embarrassment the cat once caught me masturbating. I didn't even see her peeking through the window, until it was too late.
"Touche cat......, touche," I said.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
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