Imitations

This one time I was on this stage telling jokes. At least I think I was telling jokes; there were a lot of people laughing at me. Although, I've had a lot of people laugh at me before, without telling any jokes. Like this one time when I had chocolate on my teeth and no one told me, and I just kept asking "What’s so funny?" Then I laughed like I knew what they were laughing at, which only made them laugh harder.
Anyway like I said before, I was on stage making people laugh.
A lady in the crowd asked, "Do you do any imitations."
"What," I asked.
"Do you do any imitations," she repeated.
"No, I heard you. That was my imitation of a deaf person." I said.

It was a pretty funny moment, but not a great imitation. I think if I were really good at imitations, I would imitate Mark Wahlberg. That way I could have sex with a bunch of Maximum Models and extras from Entourage. I think I'll start working on my imitation right now.

Biblical Humor

In order to appeal more to my Christian readers, I’ve decided to start writing biblical humor. The problem is, I’m not very talented at writing biblical humor. The following is a list of bad biblical jokes. I hope you enjoy them.

1. God spoke to be from a burning bush. I should have been paying attention, but I had a Liza Minelli song stuck in my head.

2. Jonah was swallowed by a whale, but that whale got diarrhea because Jonah was Mexican.

3. Joseph had a coat of many colors that his brother stole. My brother also had a coat of many colors that I wanted to steal, but then I found out it was a Members Only jacket.

4. Jesus pooped his pants. When the disciples saw it, they said, “Holly Shit.”