Adjectives

In my home town there is a certain subculture of girls who speak using only three adjectives. These adjectives are amazing, retarded, and gay.

Surprisingly one of these three words can be used to describe literally very single noun or verb in the english language, except for something that is actually amazing, retarded, or gay.

It's also a safe bet to assume that if something is actually amazing, it will be considered as gay or retarded, while something that is considered low-brow will be considered amazing.

For example NPR, The Bicycle Theives, and all of Yo-Yo Ma's collective works are, "gay as hell."
The new season of The Hills, or Kanye West's new haircut are, "soooo amazing."

Most often the adjectives are used in text messages or facebook status updates.
For your reading pleasure, I've included some true examples pulled from facebook.

OMG!!! New Moon was amazing!!!! It blew my mind!!!

Just got back from my date...Saw 6 was gay, but at least I got to spend time with my baby.

You ever fall asleep with your sox on and you wake up with one missing....retarded!!


amazing=good
retarded=stupid
* gay=lame/stupid

* Gay can sometimes be interchangeable with retarded, but never vice versa.

Burt and Ernie Gay?

I was recently asked if Burt and Ernie were gay. Of course Burt and Ernie are not gay. They have a fist up their ass, but they’re not gay. I mean if Bert were gay, he would probably wax his unibrow, or his massive amount of pubic hair. Burt and Ernie are just roommates. What actually happened is Burt had to take a crap, and accidentally walked in on Ernie jacking-off. The worst part was; Ernie was using the rubber ducky.
You’ve heard that song he sings, “Rubber Ducky you’re the one. Oh, don’t you like it when I cum.” Anyway, Bert told Elmo about what he saw, and Elmo told everyone they were gay. The next thing you know, Grover is telling kids that the letter, H, is for homosexuals.