Burt and Ernie Gay?

I was recently asked if Burt and Ernie were gay. Of course Burt and Ernie are not gay. They have a fist up their ass, but they’re not gay. I mean if Bert were gay, he would probably wax his unibrow, or his massive amount of pubic hair. Burt and Ernie are just roommates. What actually happened is Burt had to take a crap, and accidentally walked in on Ernie jacking-off. The worst part was; Ernie was using the rubber ducky.
You’ve heard that song he sings, “Rubber Ducky you’re the one. Oh, don’t you like it when I cum.” Anyway, Bert told Elmo about what he saw, and Elmo told everyone they were gay. The next thing you know, Grover is telling kids that the letter, H, is for homosexuals.