The Sandbox

Today I'm celebrating the invention of the sandbox, or as I like to call it, the place where fat kids spend recess. The sandbox is a great invention. Kids can pretend to be vacationing at the beach, or lost in the dessert, or that they're cats taking a piss in a litter box.

I find the sandbox to be pretty useless. You just kind of sit there. Isn't that being a little lazy?

In all honesty I don't know why I'm celebrating the sandbox today. I don't know when it was invented, or who it was invented by. I'd like to think Thomas Jefferson built the first sandbox as a gift to Ohio, after they were admitted to the union, but there is really no way of proving that. When you think about it, it makes perfect since. The sandbox is a worthless piece of playground equipment, Ohio is a worthless state. The two go hand in hand.

I do know that sometimes sandboxes are sometimes called sandpits. Sandpits sound alot more dangerous than sandboxes. I shudder to think of a world where children play in sandpits.

"Hey kids, go play in the sandpit. I hope you never come back! Say, while you're at it go throw those glass bottles at each other. Go ahead and knife fight with those rusty nails, they won't hurt. Candy is good for you and there are no consequences to your actions!"

Rather you call them a sandbox or a sandpit, the next time you see a group of kids playing in one, remember they are the future chain smokers of America.